there will always be cracks
by i m a g i n e dream b e
Summary: There will always be cracks in the broken pieces, and they will always give you cuts. The question is not whether you can avoid those cuts— it's whether you can make it through with stitches. post BIOTA, T for minor, almost nonexistent swearing.


A/N: So here's another product of my procrastination. Ah, well.

I no own Glee. Otherwise Blaine and Kurt would be in an adorable relationship, and I would also be playing a nice main character, instead of just imagining while I'm supposed to be writing three papers.

Oh, yeah. If I owned Glee, I wouldn't have to write three papers.

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Blaine breaks something, that day.

Rachel has just hung up, Kurt's eyebrows are higher than Blaine has ever seen them, and their conversation has become more heated than before.

Blaine doesn't know what makes him say it; all he knows is that the words are out of his head before he can stop them, and that the look on Kurt's face is enough to make him horrified at what he was thinking.

Kurt's eyes glaze over, watering as they widen slightly.

Remembering, no doubt, all the horror from before Dalton.

And Blaine wants to kick himself. He is supposed to be Kurt's knight in shining armor. His rescuer, his hero. Not this.

But he doesn't— instead he turns his anger at himself and the world in general towards Kurt again, kicking him with more words before finally rising and leaving Kurt broken.

Kurt is much better than Karofsky. But Blaine isn't sure that _he_ is.

.

That's the first time he intentionally starts to knock things over. He starts out by accidentally dropping a glass cup. He watches it crash into pieces on the floor, stares at the millions of fragments that no one has registered yet.

His friends joke that he's clumsy, that he needs to take classes to become less of a bull in a china shop. He smiles along with them as they turn to sit at the table.

Then he sees Kurt. Kurt, who is staring blankly at the shards on the ground before turning and leaving the cafeteria without buying any food.

That's the first time he throws things against the wall in his dorm. CD cases, cups, anything breakable he can get his hands on. He watches the pieces shatter on the floor, cannot bring himself to pick them up, and so he sweeps them under the rug, pretending that he doesn't hope to step on them and just _hurt._

And as he starts to turn around, Kurt backs away quietly, shutting the door before he can be caught.

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Kurt watches the ceiling above Blaine's head as he imparts his information to him, avoiding eye contact. It's been a month since Blaine decided that he's not bisexual at all, and yet the two of them still have this stilted quagmire between them. They don't talk. And it's not Kurt's fault. Blaine avoids him at every turn, and even Wes and David are getting annoyed at their friend's ridiculous behavior.

They both have their pride, and so Kurt holds his own when Blaine bursts into his room, blabbering angrily about something or another and how he _just can't believe_ that Kurt has even talked to _Wes _and _David_ about the problem and won't talk to him—

But Kurt is done with pride and guts and _courage_. He wants out of all of this hypocrisy, and he wants out now.

Blaine stops and goes deadly still at Kurt's words, not relaxing even when Kurt rolls his eyes and clarifies. He's leaving Dalton. He's returning to McKinley. Not committing suicide.

Blaine cannot bring himself to utter that one name that brought them to this point, the one person who will make Kurt's life hell if he returns.

"What about—?"

But Kurt has ushered him out of the room, and before he can finish his question, the door is shutting in his face.

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That night, Blaine does nothing except stare at the rug.

He does not sleep.

He does not eat.

He just stares.

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Kurt has returned to McKinley for the semester.

_Not indefinitely_, Burt had said, Carol at his side. _But if you're safe enough, you can stay._

_First sign of trouble, and they're going to pull you out._

_We'll protect you._

As comforting as their words are, Kurt does not want their protection. He just wants to rid himself of his problems, one by one.

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Kurt talks to Karofsky after school.

He's scared to death, and he knows that one wrong word will probably get him murdered or worse, but he steels himself and he talks as gently as possible, infusing his words with as much kindness as he can muster and keeping out his icy-bitch persona as much as possible.

It's clear Karofsky has changed, though. His brush with Glee club has taught him something, even if he does not want to admit it.

And Azimio has just come out of the closet.

Kurt does not register when it happens. Karofsky is fine one moment, and the next, he is staring out at the sky, tears rolling down his face, because he has suddenly lost control of his whole life, and now he's asking for advice from _Kurt_.

And Kurt, who knows very well what it's like to be lost, sits next to him and pats his back until the shaking stops and as the sun goes down, they sit in silence.

.

Karofsky stops beating up on Kurt. And pretty much everyone. In fact, he apologizes to everyone, and sees a guidance counselor every Tuesday for his confusion. He has discovered that he has a clinical anger management problem, and he's on the way to recovering.

All of Glee club is relatively safe now. How could it not be, with Sam, Finn, Puck, Azimio, and Karofsky backing it up?

Glee club is still not cool.

But it's okay.

And Jacob Ben Israel finds himself in the dumpster a little more often.

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Blaine and Kurt meet at a coffee shop a couple months later.

Kurt is waiting for the rest of the Glee club, and Blaine is with Wes and David. The two of them exchange wooden greetings, and Wes and David look worried.

Blaine asks how Kurt is doing at McKinley, but Kurt doesn't hear him. He is too busy beaming at a table in the back corner, where Azimio and Karofsky are sitting together, smiling and close to holding hands. Blaine's jaw drops a little as Karofsky looks over at them. Unsettled by the jock's cool gaze, he looks at Kurt, who is now waving at the pair. Glancing back in the corner, he notices t`hem waving back.

Kurt saunters over and starts a conversation with the two apparently gay jocks. Karofsky smiles and cracks a joke before looking over Kurt's shoulder and asking him a question. Kurt shakes his head, giving him a sad smile.

The door opens and one by one, New Directions step inside and cluster around Kurt, chatting animatedly. Mercedes pokes Karofsky jokingly, and Azimio joins in, laughing and waving away Puck's eye-rolls. Brittany is hugging Kurt and Karofsky and Azimio, and Santana and Artie are smiling indulgently whilst chatting with Quinn and Sam, who are looking anywhere but at each other. Rachel and Finn are the only exes who look comfortable at the moment.

This is reinforced when Karofsky glances over Kurt's shoulder and gives Blaine a cold, threatening glare. The protective meaning is obvious.

_Hurt him, and I kill you._

Blaine wonders with a pang when such a giant role reversal happened.

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That's the first time Blaine pulls up the rug and watches the glass pieces. They have not changed much— there are just more, smaller pieces, degrading due to time. A whole year.

Carefully, slowly, he gathers up the pieces and sets them on his table, sweeping away all the powdery dust that remains and replacing his carpet.

There are only a couple pieces that he has salvaged, but he picks each one up, smoothing his fingers over their smooth sides.

And as he cautiously feels his way around the rough, broken edges, he picks up his phone with trembling fingers, navigating through his contacts to Kurt's number—

Red. He drops the fragment and his phone on his mattress and heads to the bathroom to wash the blood from his hand. When he returns, he stares at the picture of Kurt, laughing at the camera, and absentmindedly rubs his cut before sighing and placing the glass and his phone on his table.

Lying on his bed, he stares at the ceiling.

He's not ready.

_Not yet._

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Kurt and Blaine run into each other again at the coffee shop. This time, both are alone. Kurt is leaving, and Blaine is entering. They both stop short at the sight of each other and smile in massive relief.

To Blaine, it feels like something has lifted off of his chest. To Kurt, it feels like his anchor to the ground may be rising.

They walk together, almost on cue and sit at a table, and talk about everything, and anything, and how they've been. How junior year is treating Kurt these days, and how close to college Blaine is, and where he wants to go (nearby. As close to Kurt as he can be.).

The only topic they avoid is how much they've missed each other, because it is already so obvious that saying it aloud would be ridiculous and overdone.

At last, however, Kurt's phone rings one last time, and he smiles apologetically at Blaine as he stands. "I'll see you again…?"

"We can fix this," Blaine whispers, as if it has just occurred to him, and in a way, it has. The epiphany has a vulnerable question laced into it, like a small child about to cry, and Kurt's heart twinges and goes out to him. Taking his hand, he gives him a lingering smile before he leaves the café.

"Yes," Kurt whispers. "We'll take as long as we need."

There is a spark in their eyes that has just reappeared. It has been gone for a while. Around a year.

.

Blaine's ready now.

That night, he carefully studies the glass fragments. He thumbs over the jagged edges with infinite gentleness, studying the ridges and slopes and where they could possibly go together.

They don't fit. It seems they never will.

Blaine sighs in frustration. He wants to fix this. Because oddly enough, this glass seems to symbolize something important to him, and he can't seem to fix it.

And he wants to, so badly.

Even though he doesn't know what it is.

.

Many things are said out there in the rain.

It's dark and gloomy, and much too cold to be having a discussion like this, but here they are, discussing away.

Neither of them are sure how it came to this. Screaming at each other, tears streaming down their faces.

"I just want to fix this!" Blaine yells at some point, practically choking it out. "I want it all to go back to how it was, to how it _could_ have been…"

Kurt laughs derisively, and in this lighting, Blaine is torn between being terrified and entranced. "We're _at_ that point Blaine. You don't need to fix it. There's a new one. We've _started over._"

"Then why—?" Blaine sobs with frustration. He doesn't understand. If they've replaced it, why is there something still missing inside? Why does he need more? Why has he always wanted more?

"You want something _else_, Blaine," Kurt says in a softer, sadder voice that Blaine strains to hear. "You just don't know. And I can't give it to you until you ask for it."

And he walks away. But there is no finality. Only waiting.

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Blaine doesn't understand what Kurt is trying to tell him. He puzzles it out, glancing between his phone and the glass shards that lie delicately on his table.

_You don't need to fix it, Blaine._

Blaine puts the shards in his drawer. He turns his phone off, turns off the main light, and locks the door.

He spends the remainder of the night by the window, staring out at the ongoing rain, and the clouds, and the moon.

And when he sleeps, he dreams of blue.

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Kurt never wanted a superhero. Not really. So when Blaine has finally taken enough time to call him, he takes out his phone, ready to yell sense into the boy, because, _honestly_, he doesn't know how much waiting he can do anymore. College is starting, and they're bound for the same university, and whatever is going on needs to be cleared up as soon as possible.

Because it needs to be either showcased or hidden away somewhere.

As he unlocks his screen, it begins to ring.

After what seems like an eternity, Kurt answers his phone, and Blaine's breath catches at the simple hello.

Gathering his breaths, he pushes out five words.

"I know what I want."

Kurt waits as Blaine blabbers about this and that, because he knows what Blaine is trying to say. And so he lets out a smile and waits for a moment to speak.

"Coffee?"

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Blaine lets Kurt into his room sheepishly, running his fingers through his hair in embarrassment. Kurt merely laughs and starts rummaging through his boyfriend's closet, pulling out clothes and handing them to Blaine to fold and place in his suitcase to go to college.

Blaine's mind is blown at the thought, that he is in college now. And he's afraid. What if his relationship doesn't last? Sure, it'll only be a year, but a year is a lot of time.

Kurt is shocked when he opens Blaine's drawer to find broken glass. His first few thoughts are filled with worry— Is Blaine drinking too much? Is Blaine cutting? Did something happen? But soon he remembers why the decorative glass is so familiar, and he goes back almost two years, watching Blaine throw a glass at the wall in sheer frustration at _everything_.

Blaine catches a glance at what Kurt is holding and grimaces. "I kept trying to fix it," he says hollowly. He knows Kurt will laugh at him, because who wouldn't?

"You didn't need to." Kurt whispers, setting it down carefully. "We just needed to start over."

Blaine picks up the pieces gingerly, and Kurt gently throws them in the trash can before smiling up at his curly haired mentor, boyfriend, _everything._

And Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt and sighs in content.

And it's all alright.

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A/N: Review, please!

And if it was confusing, I have this whole paragraph long explanation because my friend Emily didn't get it entirely (well, she only got to read the first two paragraphs and I wanted to ask her what she thought, so…)

Anyways, let me know.


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